Punishing your teenager is so last century

Helping your teenager get the grades you know they are capable of will never be a stress-free journey. But, probably know this already!

There are always going to be highs and there’ll always be lows, dealing with the highs is easy. Jump up and down; do a dance, go stuff your faces with junk food in celebration of your teens amazing achievement. So, how do you deal with the lows? Do you go with tough love, like take away their cellphone or lock them in their room? This is the way some people would deal with it, but such measures are so last century and do more harm than good!


Look at things from your teen’s point of view for a second. If your teens grades aren’t where they should be and they’re not motivated about school, then it’s obvious that they’re already not having a super fun time.

Knowing that you are mad and frustrated is not going to make them feel any better, and it’s definitely not going to turn them into a straight-A student!

So, why don’t tradition punishments work? Well, if your teenager has non motivation at school, it’s probably because they don’t see how it’ll help them later in life. You as a parent understand it perfectly. You know that it is important to get the best grades you can in order to have a better future.
But, unfortunately a teenager’s brain works differently. The results of not doing well in school don’t flash in their mind when they are too lazy to study or fail a test. Actually teens that are motivated do understand, and that’s the difference.

That’s why traditional punishments are completely useless. Taking away all privileges, locking them in their rooms, forbidding them to go out with their friends, how is this supposed to help? It’ll probably do the opposite effect and make them angry at you.

Your teen has to have a reason to want to go to school and do well, otherwise they don’t see a point and they give up.

So, if not punishments, then what? Your teenager is not five years old anymore (duh). They have ideas, thoughts and opinions; you shouldn’t expect them to respond to threats or bribes!

If you want your teen to do something, then they’re going to have to want to do it. It isn’t the Middle Ages; you can’t just lock your teen in their room and take away their belongings. This isn’t going to help in any way; you’re going to be waiting a very long time to see an A+.

The best thing to do is talk to them like the young adult they are. Discuss with them what they like doing, what subjects they enjoy or what they see themselves doing after school.

The connection between trying hard at school now and good things happening later probably won’t be made overnight, but it’s really important to make sure your teen knows you’re on their side.


They need to know that you are proud of them no matter what happens, as long as they tried their best.

Punishments are so last century, let’s leave them in the history books and create a positive environment!

The Assisted Learning Centre is a college that supervises and tutors grades 8 to 12; we are located in the coastal town of Fish Hoek on the False Bay side of the Cape Peninsula. Enroll today and provide your teenager with the best education they could possibly hope for! 

Comments