Moving to a new home in a new city is stressful for
everyone, but it can be especially difficult for teenagers. Some children
embrace moving as an opportunity to make new friends and to learn new things,
but many are wary of being uprooted and having to re-establish themselves in a
new school.
Giving up the familiar—friends, favourite places, and routines—
is not easy for anyone. As parents focus on coordinating the moving process,
some children react negatively to the decrease in attention.
Feelings of loss or frustration can be magnified if the
reason for the move is due to a family crisis like divorce or death.
While it's important to acknowledge your teenager's
unhappiness with a move, there are some ways to try to reduce some of the more
traumatic aspects of moving.
Involve children in
the move as early and as much as possible. Age-appropriate tasks or
responsibilities can help children have a sense of control over their
situation, which is always key. For instance, younger children might be allowed
to select where they would like to sleep and how their new bedroom will be
decorated. A teenager could be more directly involved in the decision-making,
and accompany parents on tours of potential houses, if possible.
Try to stick to daily routines as much as
possible. While children are adjusting to new homes, neighbourhoods,
and schools, parents can provide some comfort by keeping some things the same.
Sticking to the same morning and bedtime routines, and
meal times will give a small bit of order to the chaos, at least until all the
boxes have been unpacked.
Give them a break. Despite
parents' best efforts, there are no guarantees a teen will like his new school,
neighbourhood, or living arrangement.
It won't be easy, but try to see it from their perspective,
and talk openly with children about their anxieties. It may be challenging to
pry information from an unhappy teenager, so it's OK to give him space.
Just reassure him that you're sympathetic to his feelings, and want to help
ease the transition however you can.
Help children make
new friends and get them involved in their new communities. Participating
in activities such as camps, after school programs, and neighbourhood clubs is
one way for children to make new friends. Also, adults can use these
activities to meet other parents in the neighbourhood. Try not to push too hard
if your child isn't immediately receptive to a new group of kids or a new
activity. Remember, they need to feel some sense of control in this situation,
so give them time to adjust.
Visit your child's
new school. Many schools offer an orientation program for new
students, which can be especially comforting for younger children. For
teenagers, knowing the lay of the land is important too, and if they prefer to
get the tour without a parent present, give them a little room.
Look for warning
signs of children not adjusting well. Long-term anxiety,
depression, significant disruptions in sleep, poor socialization, and falling
grades may indicate that children need professional mental health services to
help them adjust to their new environment.
Don't hesitate to seek help if you’re concerned that your
child isn't bouncing back from the trauma of the move.
Moving to the coastal town of Fish Hoek or anywhere close by? The Assisted Learning Centre is a college that supervises and tutors grades 8 to 12. Fill in the enrollment request form today!
Comments
Post a Comment