How to Teach your Daughter to Deal with Mean Girls

A mother’s natural reaction when their daughter says they’re being picked on is to go into full mama bear mode. However bullying has changed a lot because of social media and the internet – so what can a parent do?

These seven tips can really help...

-- Stand back and stay calm

Your first reaction may be to track down the girls who made your daughter upset and give them a piece of your mind, however it is best to stay calm and avoid becoming emotionally triggered. Your daughter may question if you can help her during this time if she sees your raging emotions and crazy maternal instinct.

-- Don’t try save the day

Your first response should never be to get involved and try fixing everything. It may make you feel better about the situation, but it probably won’t help your daughter at all. The truth is she is going to faced with challenges in her social life, so she needs to learn how to be resilient.

-- Toughen her up

Girls need to learn how to be resilient, because there is a high chance they will be bullied at some time in their lives. Adapting well in the face of threats, adversity, trauma, etc. is a learning experience in life and it’ll teach your child to toughen up.

-- There is a difference between bickering and bullying

Not every comment or harsh word from someone is considered to be bullying, usually it is just simply normal conflict, and conflict happens! Make sure to get enough information about the situation to know what you’re dealing with.

-- Confirm her feelings

A scenario happens where your daughter now feels humiliated, hurt and sad. The first thing you can do to help is just stop and listen. Avoid saying things like “Don’t let them upset you.” Instead confirm with your daughter that you know how humiliated, hurt and sad she is and ask her to tell you more about the incident.

-- Help her problem solve

If you have listened and stepped away to let her work it out by herself, but she is still struggling, then it is probably time to help. Ask her what you can do to help the situation and let her think of ideas herself.

-- Come up with some tactical movements

Let your daughter know that it might be best to completely avoid the problem person. It would probably be best to walk with a group of friends so she would never have to be alone with the mean girls.

You may have nursed her through sickness and comforted her through her troubles, however it’s time to teach her some resilience and deal with those mean girls.

The Assisted Learning Centre is a high school located in the coastal town of Fish Hoek. What is the difference between ALC and any other average school? We have the best learning resources and the most qualified teachers, plus we allow all students to express themselves as individuals!